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My whole life, I’m an average, that’s why I must strive harder to achieve my goals. 

So, last year I’ve been thinking about owning a house. Some say I’m ungrateful because I already live in an apartment with strategic location. Which is understandable. If I didn’t know my life, I would’ve judge myself that way. 

Anyway, the journey of having house is like riding a rollercoaster. One minute your excited, full of hope, and next you found yourself so stressed out and hopeless. 

You see the brochure or website with 3D design that is so adorable that you wish you have a fairy God Mother besides you. 

You know it’s pricey, you know exactly how much you make for a month and how many that you spend, you know how much your house credit limit. Tap on shoulder, and out of nowhere you hear someone said, “Ah you gonna be alright, the bank will approve.” Then logic decide to say hello, slap you in the face, he said, “Girl, you better wake up.”

How am I feeling when I see the show unit? Well, multiply those imaginary voices in my head. Okay, wait.. Even when I see is an empty land with 18-months-of-building-process.. Those words keep moving back and forth. 

I’m conflicted.

Al. Yep, my beloved easy breezy husband asked me, “Can we wait a year or two? Why rushing all this things?” I know I know, but I’m 33. I only have 22 years to be able have a house loan, and as ridiculous as it seems..  for once I would like to have something on my own. I want my mom and dad could spend their free time in a decent house. I want my son to have a better environment. I hate seeing him experiencing traffic jam since 2 years old. I want a house that truly can be our home. 

And he’s been so cooperative, thankfully. He managed his taxes and surveying the cluster. I love you, Al. 

Anyway, eventually the bank reject our last hope, join income. Housing is a real hell hole. For someone like my husband, he is considered ineligible to have house loan through bank. He has to do it through couple of installment phase. Which is way more difficult for us. 

So now, time for reality check. Lowering my dream house standard a bit, prioritizing access through location and nearby daycare. Oh and also, not to be trapped with real estate sugar coated promises (again). 

Wish me luck! Coz my luck is nowhere near. 

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