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Monthly Archives: November 2010


I used to be that chatty person. The one who’s not afraid to tell the highlight of my day to anyone. Basically, I have no secret. Then, I laid down on my bed and realized that not every story is worth to tell. People would take me as a jokes itself.

Now, I’m learning to keep things between me and only me. If you read my previous post, you’ll find out what I’ve been promising to myself recently.

Someday 🙂

Yet, when the good news is coming, or heck the bad news for sure, you’ll be in touch with somebody. Your to-go-person. Here, I called em, my VIP list.  It used to be one person only, now path of life adding a Virgo in it. You may know her by code name, G.

So, Friday and Saturday nite are the time when I spill the beans. One of them screaming happily and saying something that is so her, the other one is holding her face with her narrowing eyes become invisible for a while. The bottom line is I think they are happy hearing the news.

What about me?
I feel weird. I don’t wanna jinx it, but I can’t stand to hold it by myself. Hehe.  I feel weird, even more weirder after. Haha.



Next week, I’m gonna let the cat out of the bag to my VVIP list.

You’re Stephanie and I’m Paulette, you know what all my faces mean
Amy Winehouse-Best Friends



There’s no love I’ve had left in this place
Though I spent almost 24/7 of my life here
And for the record, it’s been three years
Not long enough, I know..
But it sucking the best of me

A friend told me, never ever quitting something just because somebody else.
If you wanna quit, it must be coming from your senses.
Ya, I know I’m being lame and coward. But who can stand a person who keeps nagging and never appreciate what you have done. Yes, here I’m asking for some simple thank you, coz I’m working my ass day and night.

I wanna quit, Dear God.

Saya pikir, saya harus menunggu hingga umur 40 tahun. Lalu dia datang dan meminta. Saat itu, mata saya pasti sudah berkerut, pun dengan kening. Ternyata hidup penuh teka-teki.

11, 12-16, 17 bulan 11

Januari atau Desember?

Mei sudah hampir pasti

Yang mana? Oh ini teka-teki yang lain rupanya.

Margo Guryan bilang, “Take a picture so we can remember. The way it feels to love each other. Just in case of cloudy days to come.”

Tak heran jika banyak orang gemar sekali mengabadikan momen dalam foto. Jepret sana, jepret sini. Dan, tanpa perlu dikomando, ketika kamera dalam posisi mengambil gambar, orang-orang sontak menatapnya lalu bergaya dengan pose andalannya.

Yes, We Had The Moment

Ketika bahagia, mungkin melihat foto-foto itu rasanya biasa saja. Tapi, bandingkan saat sedang sedih atau rindu. Foto-foto yang sekalipun berat badan bertambah lima kilogram dalam lembaran itu bisa memberikan senyum instan sembari berkata dalam hati, “Hei! We looked so cute together,” atau tiba-tiba terucap syukur, “Untung gua putusin dia!”

Saya punya satu foto bersama tiga orang dekat. Kami ambil di medio Juli 2009 di ruang kantor sebuah galeri. Bermodal laptop dan software polaroid, kami yang sedang dalam mode malas mandi hanya bersampir kaus jelek dan rambut acak-acakan berfoto bersama. Semua tersenyum atau kadang mengeluarkan pose ajaib bin imut-imut.

Hasil akhirnya: Bahagia. Iya, saat itu saya bahagia. Tidak seperti sekarang. Kami tetap berteman, meski pada hari ini, masing-masing sudah memilih jalan sendiri. Hari ini, oh sebenarnya sejak saya mendapat kabar itu, saya sedih. Meski ini egois, hehe karena semuanya tak berjalan sesuai keinginan saya.

Well, setidaknya foto ini menjadi bukti kalau saya pun pernah bahagia.


Hello to myself. The 26 years old girl, err woman..
I wish a new path in my life with a little twist that makes me dancing.
I wish to a nice dream when I said greetings to the other side of the most conscious life of mine.
I wish I’m in love with myself and taking care of my priority better.
I wish for a reconnection with my family.

Happy birthday, 711.

Who’s inventing heartache?
Who meticulously describe how its feel?

I feel like riding a roller coaster. Getting goose bump like when I had my first job interview back at 90’s. It’s not the excitement but hurt like someone stabbing me back and forth.

I’m getting anxious every time I see my timeline. I wish muting you will be enough. But, it never will because I know the blunt truth.

Part of me said I need to chill out. The others said I must kill thee who wounded me. But my heart keeps aching, and I despise this sensation. I wish I could kill you instantly, instead you stab me first. And they said time will heal all wounds.

Is it me being sarcastic?
Is it me being selfish?
Or foolishly insane as usual.
I’m sure as hell if I squeeze this blog, blood will be pouring.
Yeah, I’m being too much in every way.

Please be dead on my heart and mind.
Please go away as far as you can.
Please find another body to fuck.

For I’m losing my feeling to you.


“November is all I know, and all I ever wanna know.”

Sara and Nelson are an odd couple.
You won’t see any similarity between those two.
But they beats the odds.
Coz as Nelson said, “You defy every law of nature I’ve ever known.”
So he left his job, watching his ads on multiple television while he’s running on his sports things, dump his girlfriend, just for one person who he meets randomly while he’s taking his driving license test.

When Nelson ask, “Why a month?”, Sara said, ” Because it’s long enough to be meaningful, but short enough to stay out of trouble.”

All she asks is would Nelson be her sweet November, and Nelson said yes, without further asking.

As for me, this is the sweetest movie I’ve ever seen. Or you may see is a cheesy piece, the movie itself flops in the market. But, I remember holding back my tears while I saw the movie. Because some people couldn’t appreciate what they have while it last. They are rushing to fix every mistake, once they know it all come to an end. If not, they will abandon one person that really care about them. Thus, Sara take a lesson from it, a month that really change Nelson’s life.

Nelson is running to the park.
Having a ring beneath his coat.
Sara is there also, hiding while crying.
No matter how bad she wants Nelson, she doesn’t want him keeping bad memory of a dread ill woman. She wants Nelson to remember her as his Sweet November.

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