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A friend tweeted and caught my heart instantly.

“Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can hurt like hell.” Chuck Palahniuk via @jonathanend.

On my vacay, I received text message. I couldn’t reply since I didn’t make my cell available for international roaming. What text? Not just annoying, but it involved my mom and I’m worried like hell.

So when I landed in Jakarta, I called my mom.
At first everything went well, but I couldn’t help my boiling emotion.

The fact that some people only saw what they thought as my flaw and telling those unchecked facts to my sweating-small-stuffs-mother, then she got sick, I blew up like hell.

The fact that some people I care about are ashamed with what I’m doing in life for money, yes I’m workin as a journalist, they even compared my job is worthless and being a hooker is better.

The fact that I open up so wide about my life based on trust and believing that my family won’t judge me but then some of them kick me hard that I don’t have time to defense.

The fact that I need him badly to tell me that’s everything is gonna be okay, but he won’t bother to try hard to help me.

The fact that my life is messed up, and no one should ever know it, especially my mom. By ‘messed up’, it’s not that I’m doing drug, being a crack whore, or whatever u think.

I’m not afraid of you, people.
I only care with my loved ones, although some of them aint feelin the same way with me.
I’m not even bothering my aching heart for your tremendous judgmental attitude.
I won’t let anyone ruin my happiness that absorbing my capillary that made my cheek bloom.

What a wonderful post-vacay.
Welcome back real life.
Hello there my lil sanctuary.
Pour me down with water.
Bless me thee.
So I have a little cry to wash up.



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