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Monthly Archives: May 2010

I always think that I’m easily falling in love.
But when I recap all those bizarre momento, I recall I always had and having a long term relationship. Those took leaps of years, 2 or 3. And next month, I’ll be on my 4th years with him.

I fall in love like twice or third.. Hmm…
Okay, third. That 2nd Taurean made to the list.

I always have simple reason for falling. Either I like the bone structure or the way that person’s smiling. Or as ridiculous as their teeth look.

So then I remember the movie I saw couple of weeks ago, An Education. My boyfriend fall asleep watching it, and by the way I hate the way the movie ends. It’s too surreal, way h-wood way, I want sorrow not joyful.

Anyway who would’ve resist that David Goldman persona. Old, handsome, and as a bonus, he could take you to Paris. Ah mercie, Monsieur. He could make your parent shut the hell up, and bring you to your infinite dreams. I want that one, please. So Jenny Miller is fascinated by him, yet her parents also. Yes, predictable. Fall in love so quickly as the aching heart comes along behind her a few steps behind.

I wanna be Jenny Miller. Her life shattered after she found out who Goldman truly is.
A cheater, bastard, jerk, you name it.
She truly love him though, for he bring her to every little girl dream.
And she moved on really QUICK.
Has a new beau on her age, got into Oxford (fuck yeah), and then her boyfriend ask her to go to Paris with him, and she said, “One of the boys I dated, and they were boys, suggested that we go to Paris and I said I’d always wanted to see Paris. As if I’d never been!”

I wish I have my Goldman, got Jenny’s hunch.
Hard to fall, easy to heal.


I hate you.
You fucking twat.

I hate everything rit now.
Messy. Tangled. Crap. Shit.
Jealous. Tired. Fuck you, fuck you!

Monday mayhem.
Feels excited as always, don’t bother lack of sleeping coz work loads always be a winner in my core.
I got a good hunch about us. I imagine next week, I’ll see you again with bunch of comfort. But it aint happen since you are off with your besties.

Honey, do you even remember why I need to see you this week? You’re not, I guess. Too busy with your fab plans. I’m only a baby sitter for a baby boy like you.

I feel like I’m single inside out.
No relationship 24/7, not even a minute.
Since the whole universe must be revolving on you, only. Been like a scavenger hunting for winds to catch. Waving goodbye for forever, I’ve been waiting to.

Tell me, baby boy..
Are you even there for real
If it’s only a status, I aint need it for sure

You’re a baby boy
Always will be
You won’t get what I said
I won’t get what you said

A friend tweeted and caught my heart instantly.

“Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can hurt like hell.” Chuck Palahniuk via @jonathanend.

On my vacay, I received text message. I couldn’t reply since I didn’t make my cell available for international roaming. What text? Not just annoying, but it involved my mom and I’m worried like hell.

So when I landed in Jakarta, I called my mom.
At first everything went well, but I couldn’t help my boiling emotion.

The fact that some people only saw what they thought as my flaw and telling those unchecked facts to my sweating-small-stuffs-mother, then she got sick, I blew up like hell.

The fact that some people I care about are ashamed with what I’m doing in life for money, yes I’m workin as a journalist, they even compared my job is worthless and being a hooker is better.

The fact that I open up so wide about my life based on trust and believing that my family won’t judge me but then some of them kick me hard that I don’t have time to defense.

The fact that I need him badly to tell me that’s everything is gonna be okay, but he won’t bother to try hard to help me.

The fact that my life is messed up, and no one should ever know it, especially my mom. By ‘messed up’, it’s not that I’m doing drug, being a crack whore, or whatever u think.

I’m not afraid of you, people.
I only care with my loved ones, although some of them aint feelin the same way with me.
I’m not even bothering my aching heart for your tremendous judgmental attitude.
I won’t let anyone ruin my happiness that absorbing my capillary that made my cheek bloom.

What a wonderful post-vacay.
Welcome back real life.
Hello there my lil sanctuary.
Pour me down with water.
Bless me thee.
So I have a little cry to wash up.


The titled itself already explain the whole situation.

Don’t make any mess, if you are lazy enough to clean it. Don’t play with fire, unless you are ready to get burn. Don’t mock others, if you didn’t like being mocked back. Don’t argue with people if you couldn’t help being confronted with a whole lot different reason.

So shut the fuck up.
I’m just answering your stupid jokes about my life with another lame jokes referring to your life.

You are so annoying, don’t you know that, you twat.

Early 2000, I’m addicted by chicklit.
One that I can recall at this moment is Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. You may know the fab writer with her Shopaholic series.

So why did I write this post?
While actually I’m watching An Education with my boyfriend who apparently busy clicking his Pearl.

Not long ago, I waited for him to come home.
Before that, I’m busy cleaning the room.
One thing that I missed is cooking him dinner, because it’s past midnight, unless you’d like to have a bumpy road on stomach and petrified your intestine, I prefer not to cook or order food.

Oh okay..
I can’t cook.

So he came home, after a meeting in Melawai, he said the clientele loves his sketch. Afterwards, mi cherie went to a radio station in Kemang, he’s now working permanently for a year as an announcer.

We kissed.
Chocolips rum butter vanilla kissus flavored with Baileys.
I’m high. I’m fly.
Mon amour soit à la maison après le travail.
Then I heard imaginary grassy jazz voice humming.

You got me wrapped around your little finger
If this is Love, it’s everything i hoped it would be
You got me wrapped around your little finger
You will see, By my words just how much you mean to me

When we kiss, It’s as if our lips agree
that we were meant to be
When we touch, It’s too much
Oh the sparks that fly, Are lighting up the sky

You got me wrapped around your little finger
If this is Love, it’s everything i hoped it would be
You got me wrapped around your little finger
If this is Love, It’s everything that i’ve been dreaming of


I feel domestic on weekend.
Undoubted delightful seeing him opening the door.
Watching him from his back with tattoo that I despise.
But yet, I’m addictive to his odor.
So ‘ewww’ of me.

Nite universe..

You breath the same air like humans around you.
Your eyes picturing every details of gestures they made. I see your friends, or in my world I defined them as my hello-goodbye friends in a place filled with mosquitoes.

Busy talking about one thing, that after I know you for years, eventually it only took a year or so til its fade away. One take a ride, others join the brotherhood, makin a club, and if you left out, sorry baby, you aint kewl. I know he’s hoping I could join the tour, but no, I’m not having any interest to mingle with yours truly.

I see love birds. The latest formation of bounding. Which somehow make me feel like I’m livin in 90210 series.

A puppy eyes girl who keep her cell phone on her boyfriend’s pocket. When it rang, both seeing each other. There I peek, there I saw unidentified number. They were still awkwardly looking at each other, as if their minds are speaking in some lingo.

Pick up or not.
She press the red button. Minutes away, it rings back.
Yes, repeating those momento again. Boyfriend nod to the ‘confused’ girlfriend. Magicoala! She finally pick up the call.

What I see is some people are enjoy being dominated, having someone else making decision for the itzy bitzy details and actions in their life. The joy of being tied in an absurd rules. Don’t go hissing, because I know you like it.

An old flame with his new boo who just got back from vacay. Her ex with her new boyfriend who couldn’t stop talking about wedding bells, while I knew that he’s whining about her stubbornness. Old flame’s girlfriend’s ex who came along past midnite.

Every time I breathe the same air with them, its like a movie reel being played in my brain. A boring one.
Oh honey.. You talk about posers, while you’re one of them.

Get me out of here.

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